Joke...

[nick]

irishman is sitting at a bar having a pint when a blond woman walks in and sits next to him.

she has obviously had a few bottles of 'tart fuel' and strikes up a conversation.

she notices his footwear is strange and asks 'why do you have L and R on your shoes?' he replies, i'm a bit tick you see, its to help me figure right foot and left foot !

'oh replies the blond!!! thats why my nickers have C&A on the lable then'

:to:

[Funkmaster_Dale]

i got one for ya!

bloke walks into a bar and in the corner there's a rather saad looking horse surrounded by pots of gold coins.

the bloke says to the barman 'whats up with the horse? i mean if he's got that much money surely he's got nothing to be sad about!'

the barman replies 'oh no! he sits in the same spot everyday looking just as miserable! so we started trying to cheer him up! we've been putting a pound in the pot and the person who can make him smile gets the money!

The man says 'okay i'll have a go at that', puts his pound in the pot and whispers something in the horses ear.

next thing you know the horse is on the floor rolling around nearly crying, coz he's laughing so hard!

'Bloody hell' says the barman ' what did you say to him?

the man replies 'no, can't tell you!' so he just takes the money and wlaks out!

the same man comes back a week later yet agin to see the horse sat in the corner surrounded by pots of coins!

the man asks the barman 'whats with all the coins this time then?

and the barman replies 'well ever since you left he's been sat there laughing! and it's getting rather annoying! so now were trying to make him sad again!'

so the man puts his money in the pot and goes over to the horse, opens his coat, closes it again. And with that the horse just starts balling so th man takes his money and goes to walk out the door.

but the barman stops him and says 'ok you wouldn't tell me last time! but come on what did you say to him?'

and the man replies 'The first time i told him i had a bigger willy than him! and the secondtime I SHOWED HIM!'

:)

[Funkmaster_Dale]

ok that last one had nothing to do with blondes and it wasn't that good! but now i give you BLONDE JOKES!

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosties back in the box!''

and finally

How do you keep a blonde amused for hours on end?
write Please Turn Over on both sides of a piece of paper!

:big smile :big smile :big smile :big smile :big smile

[nick]

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realise there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "It's a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood....sure enough he drops the second bar of soap.

The third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells!

"Mary, Mother of God - Hand Lotion too!"